a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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