Pants 0. Shit 1.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
