It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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