Dual....:-)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
there is glitter all over my balls
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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