I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize