ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
