My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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