I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
