Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
