I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
