I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize