she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
