drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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