we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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