I got chris browned last night
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
