Your face is a jimmy john
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
