Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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