So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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