Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
