Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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