you guys were way drunker than both of me
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
