her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
