I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You work out of a Hotel?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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