Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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