You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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