Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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