Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
