I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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