I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
