I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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