Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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