It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
