it wasn't lemon gatorade
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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