the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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