never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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