worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
