you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
