She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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