I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The air was thick with penises
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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