Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize