the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
