If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
