i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
