When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
