I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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