need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
