when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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