whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
