ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
