Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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