I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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