Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
