Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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