I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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