Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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