Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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