dude i'm inner monologue high
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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