Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
