It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
