We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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